if i just write, and keep writing, i might be ok.
am i depressed? is this lack of energy, drive, motivation, etc depression? am i just lazy? can i fix it on my own? do i need to see a doctor?
why do i keep drinking soda? why can't i say i'm going to do something, and then actually do it?
Why don't i want to sleep with my husband? why dont i miss him much?
why am i asking so many questions? ugh. i need to regain control. or something like it.
at least i made it to sentences.
i wanna start weigh down.
i wanna have sex with my husband.
i wanna enjoy my free time.
i wanna get good grades in school.
i wanna have energy.
i wanna feel how i felt at the retreat
at my wedding when billy kissed me.
at myrtle beach with my husband.
at any good memory of my life.
i want to feel something. anything. all i do is sleep and do what i need to do.
LORD HELP ME. PLEASE. i don't know what to do, i feel lost and unworthy. i need guidance, i need assistance. i need help. i don't know how to ask for help.
